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OFFICIAL STANCE ON BETROTHAL AND MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE
Marriage, as instituted by
Yahweh in Eden, and defined by the Hebrew Scriptures, consists of a commitment
to faith and physical fidelity between only one man and one woman for their
entire life.
Betrothal describes a preliminary "hands off
relationship" between the two who are committed to marriage, having sought
parental guidance or other appropriate counsel, and unless widowed have retained
their virginity (Lev 21:7,13; Ezek 44:22,23; Rev
14:4). A betrothal may only be terminated with the unoffending party free
to marry another on account of prior intimacy with an illegitimate partner (cf.
Matt 1:18-20; 5:31; Deut 22:13-21) The context for
this process, which Yahweh illustrates through his love-relationship with
Israel, provides a pure and historically proven means of courtship established
on a promise of fidelity (Hos 2:19,20) which creates
a lasting foundation of nuptial love and reciprocal trust.
Within the context of marriage, "whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another commits
adultery against him" (Mark 10:11,12) "and everyone marrying her who is put away
from her husband commits adultery" (Lk 16:18). "And when a man has taken a wife...and find in her an issue of
unchastity...and write her a certificate of "putting away"... If when she
departs she becomes another man’s... then her former husband which sent her away
may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is an
abomination before Yahweh, and you shall not cause the land to sin which Yahweh
your Elohim gives you for an inheritance." (Deut 24:1-4) "But if her husband be dead, she is loosed from
that (aspect of) Torah so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to
another man." (Rom 7:3b) "The wife is bound by the Torah as long as her husband
lives, but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she
will; only in Yahweh" (1 Cor 7:39) Therefore "Let not the wife depart from her
husband, and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her
husband: and let not the husband divorce his wife (1 Cor 7:10)
Although temporary concessions were made and
judgments enacted for men with multiple wives (Deut
21:10-17), as even for fathers selling their daughters (Ex 21:7-11) or males owning concubines or female servants —
unarguably a form of sexual slavery to gratify their deviate desires (Judges 19:24-30), it must also be clearly stated that:
The practice originated among the descendants of Cain, namely with a
murderer (Gen 4:19-23)
The practice was NEVER condoned by Yahweh or spoken favorably of (see Lev 18:18, 19:29, 20:14, Deut 17:16,17, Lev 18:18, 2 Sam
12:10-12, etc.)
"It is a faithful saying that
if a man desires the eldership, he desires a good work. And an elder must be
such that no blame can be found in him; and he must be the husband of [only]
one wife, with a vigilant mind and sober and reliable (in his behaviors),
and affectionate to strangers, and instructive, and not a transgressor in regard
to wine, and whose hand is not swift to strike; but he should be humble and not
contentious, nor a lover of money; and one who guides well his own house and
holds his children in subjection with all purity. For if he knows not how
to guide his own house well, how can he guide the assembly of Elohim? (1 Timothy
3:1-5)
"If any be blameless, the
husband of ONE WIFE, having children who KEEP FAITH...for an elder must be
BLAMELESS as the steward of Elohim; not self-willed...but sober, just, holy,
temperate — holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught that he may be
able by SOUND DOCTRINE both to exhort and to convince those teaching otherwise."
(Titus 1:6-9)
As clearly seen in Abraham’s relations with Hagar, Yahweh states that he
"Gave them up unto their own hearts’ lust, and they walked
in their own counsels. Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had
walked in my ways!" (Psa 31:12,13)
Polygamy was practiced only by SOME patriarchs, and that for a very limited
time in Israel’s history, namely from Abraham up until the end of the Babylonian
captivity). In fact, from Genesis through Revelation there are only 20-30 recorded accounts of polygamy in 4,000 years of history, and these include Lamech the cold blooded killer, the pagan kings of Babylon and Syria, Jacob who married sisters (breaking Torah), David who killed Bathsheba's husband and married her to cover up his adultery (breaking Torah), Solomon and Rehoboam who multiplied wives which turned their hearts from Yahweh (as fobidden by Torah), and the pagan kings of Israel such as Yehoiachin, Zedekiah, and Ahab the husband of Jezebel, which led the people away from the law and worship of Yahweh. Likewise, in neither of the accounts of Livirate marriage (either Tamar, Yahudah's daughter in law; or Ruth the wife of Boaz) is a polygamous relationship even indicated, although repeatedly cited by pro-polygamists as supposed "proof" of their position. To the contrary, we find that the closest living relative in the book of Ruth (and therefore by theory, the most obliged) adamantly opposed any implications of matrimony, as to do so would "ruin his own inheritance"; i.e. he had already promised himself to one wife (cf. Ruth 4:6).
"And on the twentieth day of
the ninth month, all the people were sitting in the square before the house of
Elohim, greatly distressed by the occasion and because of the rain. Then Ezra
the priest stood up and said to them, ‘You have been unfaithful; you have
married strange women, adding to Israel's guilt. Now make confession to
Yahweh, the Elohim of your fathers, and do his desire. Separate
yourselves from the peoples around you and from your strange wives.’ The whole
assembly responded with a loud voice: ‘You are right! We must do as you say. But
there are many people here and it is the rainy season; so we cannot stand
outside. Besides, this matter cannot be taken care of in a day or two, because
we have sinned greatly in this thing. Let our officials act for the whole
assembly. Then let everyone in our towns who has married a strange woman come at
a set time, along with the elders and judges of each town, until the fierce
anger of our Elohim in this matter is turned away from us... And they gave their
hand in pledge to put away their strange wives" (Ezra
10:9-14,19)
"Have we not
all one Father? Did not one Elohim create us? Why do we profane the
covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Judah has
broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem:
Judah has desecrated the sanctuary YHWH loves, by MARRYING THE DAUGHTER
OF A FOREIGN GOD. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may YHWH
cut him off from the tents of Jacob — even though he brings offerings to YHWH
Almighty.... You ask, "Why?" It is because YHWH is acting as the witness
between you and the WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH, because YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH
HER, THOUGH SHE IS YOUR PARTNER, THE WIFE OF YOUR MARRIAGE COVENANT. Has not
YHWH made you one? In flesh and spirit you are his. And why one? Because he was
seeking UNDEFILED SEED. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not
break faith with the wife of your youth." (Malachi 2:10-17)
"Discretion would guard you;
understanding would watch over you, to deliver you from the evil way, from the
man who speaks perversities, those who leave the paths of straightness to walk
in the ways of darkness; who rejoice to do evil; they delight in the
perversities of evil; whose paths are crooked, they are perverted in their ways;
to deliver you from the strange woman, from the foreigner who flatters
with her words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and has
forgotten the covenant of her Elohim. (Prov 2:11-17)
"For the lips of a strange
woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is
bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword" (Pr 5:3,4) "Do not desire her
body in your heart, neither let her captivate you with her eyelids" (Pr 6:25)
"Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should
your springs (semen) be scattered abroad as rivers of waters in the streets? Let
them be only your own and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be
blessed and REJOICE WITH THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH — a loving deer and a
pleasant doe! LET HER BREASTS SATISFY YOU AT ALL TIMES and be CAPTIVATED BY
HER LOVE ALWAYS. For why should you, my son, be captivated by a strange woman,
and embrace the breasts of a stranger? (Prov 5:15-20)
"From the beginning Elohim
made them ‘[one] male and [one] female’. For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and cleave to his wife, and those two shall become one flesh
so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what Elohim has joined
together, no one must separate." (Mark 10:6-9, cf.
Gen 2:24)
Any other sexual companion (whether
called a "wife", "concubine", "girlfriend", "fiancé", etc. and whether engaging
in actual intercourse or not, can neither physically nor Scripturally unite with
a husband’s first wife (Lev 20:13; 2 Tim 3:3; Rom 1:24-27; 1
Cor 6:9,10) and thereby divides the "one flesh" which Yahweh created when
joining a man with the "wife of his youth" asunder. Additionally, according
to Yahshua, any man who even looks at a woman other than his wife, with thoughts
of a second female companion, sexual intentions, or physical desire, has already
committed adultery against his wife in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)
"Concerning the things
of which you wrote to me, it is praiseworthy for a man not to approach a woman.
But, on account of sexual temptation, let each have his own wife and let a
woman have her own husband." (1 Cor. 7:1-2)
The wording "his own" and "her own",
derived in the Peshitta from the Aramaic word "khad", clearly refer to an
exclusivity of sexual access between only husband and wife.
"And let the man render
to his wife the kindness which is due; and so also the woman to her husband. The
woman is not the sovereign over her body, but her husband: so also the man is
not the sovereign over his body, but the wife. Therefore, deprive not one
another, except when you both consent at the time you devote yourselves to
fasting and prayer; and return again to the same disposition that Satan does not
tempt you because of the passions of your body." (1 Corinthians
7:3-5)
The simple fact that the wife is
queen of her husband’s physical body tacitly implies that she has direct say
over what he physically does and doesn’t do with it.
"It is fitting for men
so to love their wives as (they do) their own bodies. For he that loves his wife
loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body; but nourishes it and provides
for it... For this reason, a man should leave his father and his mother and
cling to his wife; and the two should be one flesh." (Ephesians
5:28-32)
Quite clearly, a man "clings to his
wife" by keeping the covenant of his heart and eyes which he made the day he
married her (Exodus
20:16), and not running around after others! Marriage,
as instituted by Yahweh and enhanced by the gift of physical intimacy, is one of
the Creator’s courses in temperance and true spirituality and an earthly analogy
of Yahweh’s love-relationship with Israel — his only wife. "Hear this word that Yahweh has spoken against you, O children of
Israel, against the whole family which I brought up from the land of Egypt
saying, 'YOU ONLY HAVE I KNOWN OF ALL THE FAMILIES OF THE EARTH: therefore I will
punish you for your iniquities.' (Amos 3:1,2) Adultery, polygamy,
homosexuality, beastiality, and all other deviations from Yahweh’s plan are
focused entirely on sensuality, perverted sexuality, and the attempt to feed
mankind’s sinful ego as he endeavors to set the rules.
"Know ye not that the
unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of Elohim? Be not deceived. Neither
the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes (men
who mate with multiple women), nor homosexuals...will inherit the kingdom of
Elohim. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside
his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body... YOU ARE NOT
YOUR OWN, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor Elohim with your body.
(1 Cor 6:9-10,18-20)
Defiant (un-turned / un-repented, or repeated)
adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, etc. leaves no option other than "purging the evil from Israel" (Deut 13:5, 17:7,12) by
disassociation and removal of that immoral individual from fellowship among the
assembly of the Mashiyach (1 Cor 5:11-13, Rom 16:17, Titus
3:10,11). "Therefore put away from among
yourselves that immoral person." (1 Cor 5:13)
Blessed are all who fear
YHWH, who walk in His ways. You will eat the
fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will
be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive
shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears YHWH. May YHWH
bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of
Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children's children. (Psalm
128:1-6)
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